2001-04-01 - 542 pm
i ... had fun. and there were a lot of panic attacks. (i feel very strong there about "and" instead of "but" for some reason)
ive had these sudden feelings of .. basically, freaking out, since maybe 7th grade. it hurts a lot. and i feel empty. and queasy. and i dont know what brings it or makes it go away.
i havent had them in over a year.
why now?
oh yeah. cuz i'm keeping a whole lot of stupid stuff inside of me ... there's just no where to put it.
i missed him so much. i missed him so. fucking. much. and i tried to tell myself "it's only cuz you're sitting alone in a cold hotel room with a big bed and stiff covers" but ... it just isn't.
