2001-11-11 - 12:47 a.m.
and it's great to grin along to such sad songs (while everyone else smiles too, with big pretend tearmarks made only by fingers)
but really. i had no idea food could taste so this way. maybe i should eat one meal a day and have it be extra extra good all the time.
sometimes i get freaked out if i don't see and hug and laugh with people for more than a week but then i realize that separation is as natural as everything else is, and i have friends who are too smart to resent anyone for not keeping in touch all the time.
so i'll miss you, even though i don't have to (but it's a human reaction, and i seem to be in love with strangers and human reactions and syncopation tonight oh god i've been awake for nearly twenty four hours).
and by "you" i mean all of you.
so much is masquerading as weakness when it's just something completely and nicely different.
things are good. better than they have been.
what am i comparing this okayness to? to last week? weeks and weeks of little days and their seemingly chasmic differences i have no right to compare to each other, because my span should not be so narrow so shallow.