2005-08-16 - 5:13 a.m.
My emotions don't run nearly as high as they used to, and as a result I hardly write entries here anymore. It's disheartening because it's not as though my life is somehow less meaningful just because my heart isn't beating out of my chest all the time, or less meaningful because I have stopped writing about it.
But I do miss having small musings to put here. The place in my head is not quite so fanciful anymore. Whimsy has become a 21 yr old bottle of soda that has evaporated slightly despite the bottlecap being tightly screwed on. Where did it go? It has been replaced by worrying about real things of the mundane, the un-postable.
(I am of the belief that posts are whetted, carved out things. Subtractive not additive. You young kids these days and your xangas that spout willy nilly!)
In short, I'll be changing scenery for the 7th time in a year and I haven't been this nervous about American college life in a long time.
I thought I would have more friends by now. But it's time to quit complaining about that. When I can't fall back on friends or on love, there is only me.