2002-02-24 - 12:44 a.m.

apparently, USAD is in love with a star motif (how emo of them ... ba dum TSCH! ... oh that was a bad bad joke). i have a glorified star-shaped paperweight now. and a star-shaped trophy thingy.

but i am NOT in love with having to walk onstage to accept some plastic star thing while being booed by other teams simply for working hard and competing well. i am tired of misunderstandings involving the false arrogance people try to claim on us (like that albatross in that one poem thingy about the ancient mariner except nearly entirely not) .... although i guess i'll have to live with it. it's not easy to get through to a single person who is your own friend sometimes, let alone hundreds of people you've never talked to before and as a result have no trust in you.

dammit, i wish i could tell them all "yes yes, people from my school have won a lot over the years. but it's not like they didn't ever deserve it. they worked really hard and that's the only thing that will give you high scores. and fuckin a, it's different people who win every year, not some goliath that eats village children for an annual sacrifice. this year's team is its own time with its own people (really nice people, mind you) ... and we want to work hard and hopefully win even bigger plastic star-motifed items and the happy glow that comes with them. anyone would. no matter what school you went to. i don't even HAVE any school pride. uy.

hm. you know what? i don't mind their anti-whitneyyoug rhetoric entirely. i can understand that if i were one of them i'd say things about kicking people from whitney young in the crotch (repeatedly!@!@@) ... because it's fun and not completely serious. i'm just not a fan of the, uh, BOOing. that was uncalled for and definitely lacked class.

but there were some very faith-restoring people in the seats who told us to ignore the boos and i will do my best to try.

also, i like the fact that the northside guy who sits in my testing room seemed like such a quiet fellow until i saw him do that funky eyebrow dance thing before the awards ceremony, which was pure hilarity.

and i hope ren feels better soon. i suppose the best remedy is studying (and extensive ice cream care).

i wonder if anyone thinks i'm obnoxious for doing my win signals in an odd fashion. dude, it's so much fun to get all goofylike in place of the traditional pencil twirl of victory. besides, it helps me shake off the nervousness of being placed in the fuckin center of the relay area.

next time, i'm signalling by flapping my arms like a chicken.

...

... and it was refreshing to know (not just "think that" but actually KNOW) that the guy who beat me in the scholastic division for first place is a nice person.