2001-11-29 - 10:21 a.m.

(there is something fun in this jitter i am stuck to like the mudsand on my shoe from staying up all night and having 5 am diner/lake/tarp adventures)

sometimes i look around to notice things, and i think it's as happy as i ever will be in this fluxating place, or at least i sometimes imagine so.

i came upon this while noticing the way van gogh painted his grapes, with these fantastic little lines on them. there is such satisfaction here. i wouldn't have appreciated such a thing on this level a year ago or yesterday before i tried to watch the sunrise at the lake with sandy. as megan calls it, emotional fate.

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