2000-07-10 - ten twenty two
at noon, i got to rainer's house and we eventually began the whole make-out-on-his-couch thing. i have to admit, that sort of thing wasn't 100% fun for me at first, and i eventually became .. uh ... used to it.
things got different though. it moved beyond this tentatively exploratory phase and things progressed naturally to ... well ... uh .. more physical type action stuff.
i like it. it's the first time i've ever gotten this far (ah yes, such an innocent girl am i) or even felt this comfortable with someone. i wonder how it is to him, since his only other relationship wasn't exactly the most intense (it was barely there).
you know how after you stare at a light, there's an afterimage? well, i can still feel his hands on me, like there's an imprint. a certain weight is still all over me.
i'm still paranoid about privacy. i mean, there isn't anywhere that doesn't have some person-can-walk-in factor involved. my god, his little cousin walked in and it was like "GYAH! uh .. hey!"
sigh. i don't think things are going too fast. i've known him too long for that. i just worry too much perhaps. i'm concerned what other people think about us not exactly keeping our hands off each other. as long as this doesn't turn into a too-often thing, we should be fine. i don't know how to DO that ... but i'll work on it.
