2002-10-03 - 3:30 p.m.
one: i have a snail now. i don't think Penelope the fish is getting along with Chao the snail ... yet! the snail looks kinda like this
two: gaaah, the Empire Carpet Man, Lynn Haldren, has not been in the last two Empire Carpet commercials.
i am filled with pasty worry.
al: i hope he's just working on bringing us great carpet samples to our home and not being ill
olga: he will live on in the boppinhead dolls... although that is little consolation.
sandy: aww poor empire man... i used to think he looked like my elementary school principal and felt a connection to him since our phone numbers were so similar!
al: you know the empire carpet guy is part of a barber shop quartet, right? he was originally famous for being in the quartet.
when i was really young, i used to think "man, i'll be kinda sad when he's not in these commercials anymore because it probably means he's dead."
al: no! he's not dead! just...carpeting.
so here is my Internet Wake for Lynn "Empire Carpet Man" Haldren:
he was in a barbershop quartet, then he sold carpet with entertaining commercials (advertising free-with-purchase "michael jordan" basketballs or dolls of himself), and he might be alive now, but he also might be dead. i never bought carpet from him, but i wish i did.