2002-10-03 - 3:30 p.m.

one: i have a snail now. i don't think Penelope the fish is getting along with Chao the snail ... yet! the snail looks kinda like this

two: gaaah, the Empire Carpet Man, Lynn Haldren, has not been in the last two Empire Carpet commercials.

i am filled with pasty worry.

al: i hope he's just working on bringing us great carpet samples to our home and not being ill

olga: he will live on in the boppinhead dolls... although that is little consolation.

sandy: aww poor empire man... i used to think he looked like my elementary school principal and felt a connection to him since our phone numbers were so similar!

al: you know the empire carpet guy is part of a barber shop quartet, right? he was originally famous for being in the quartet.

when i was really young, i used to think "man, i'll be kinda sad when he's not in these commercials anymore because it probably means he's dead."

al: no! he's not dead! just...carpeting.

so here is my Internet Wake for Lynn "Empire Carpet Man" Haldren:

he was in a barbershop quartet, then he sold carpet with entertaining commercials (advertising free-with-purchase "michael jordan" basketballs or dolls of himself), and he might be alive now, but he also might be dead. i never bought carpet from him, but i wish i did.

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