2009-03-22 - 5:01 a.m.

1. The old man at Snowflake Ice Cream is the cutest old man in the world. He offers you flavors before you can ask for any. In a world full of brightly lit frozen yogurt shops, their faucet drips a little and the walls are taking on a slight dinge. He hands you meticulously crafted, enormous scoops of ice cream. I think if I ever saw him working without smiling his huge smile that my heart would break more than a little.

Yesterday a woman I helped at the library reminded me of my mother. Same hair, same something else too. Despite living in a place populated by people of Asian descent, this is the first time I've met someone who resembles her.

All these old people are making me feel really sentimental. Please, old people, please do okay and be happy in your lives. I find myself feeling so worried about all of you.

2. Growing away from my own emotions reminds me of passages in various literature where a person is chronicling their descent into madness or into some lower form. (The only example of this I can name is Charlie writing about losing his intelligence in Flowers for Algernon.)

The older I get, the less I think about why I feel a certain way about a certain thing. I feel it going away. I have always been bad at putting names to things, bad at mourning in general. I wish I could read a good book right now. To read about feelings with precision is to make my world real, more liveable, more reasonable.

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