2001-10-18 - 8:00 p.m.

today i sat at a station with ren and watched the sunset being filtered through the flashing of a rushing train.

it was very pretty.

and i'm guessing that the brain releases endorphins whenever it recognizes something as beautiful. pleasing scenery and euphonic tones and all that. sort of like how any type of human contact releases chemicals to the body in order to increase pleasure by lessening pain.

and that's what creates the dynamics of sadomasochism, but anyhow.

my mind seems focused on gentle touch nowadays. it's just ... my heart is too set on that to do anything else anymore, and i dont want to ever again be overpowered by such weakness.

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