2003-10-21 - 2:03 p.m.

it's hard to explain to my TA how i agree with her that race is a social construction but i still feel cultural pride.

(it took me a while to separate "superficial" cultural pride from "real" cultural pride)

(i'm totally not even done separating things, as you can tell from the usage of quotation marks)

(i haven't broken my habit of parantheses either)

and i can't help but grin when i think of this exchange:

me: in general, it's considered respectable and intelligent to acknowledge your roots. otherwise, you're considered ignorant.

her: but i don't think it's ignorance. i don't feel allegiance to being a Spaniard even though i am from Spain. [editor's note: she grew up there, it's not one of those "what country are you from/i was born in america" kinds of things]

me: but are you proud to be a Spaniard?

her: *silence*

i've always been comfortable with the fact that i don't seek/avoid asian friends. but i finally learned to admit that sometimes i do wish i had more asian friends and spoke korean. or even knew how to fan dance (though first i should wish for rhythm). i don't believe it's just wanting to be a part of a socially constructed group. i mean, i'm sure it can definitely be construed that way ... but ... like, my TA asked "if i came to class and flamenco danced, would you consider me more Spanish?" but dancing isn't always just dancing; it's a physical act but there can be a lot imbued in it, even at the cultural dance performances that i used to make fun of in high school.

(they had names like Jubilasian and Imaginasian, how could i not make fun of them?)

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