2008-07-10 - 9:44 p.m.
I bought the plane ticket and started crying. It's an early flight because I wanted to reduce as much downtime (i.e., crying time) as possible between saying goodbye and getting on a plane. The body reacts in predictable ways. I feel like an experiment, one timed so well that a scientist could start the chemical reaction and leave to grab lunch while knowing exactly when he/she needs to get back to the lab. (Except I think I'm the scientist, due to that disconnect between thought and feeling. I always try to embrace a feeling as my own and it never works anymore, not since I was a teenager.)