2001-04-23 - 1115 pm
"i don't have close relationships with anybody anymore. i hold things in my hands and don't know where to put em down." - kerouac
im so afraid.
i have a friend and i think he's hurting but i dont know how to help him.
everyone's goin crazy these days, everyone's got their hangups and their problems and their "i" sentences.
and i wish i knew what to tell him but it seems that all i want to do is take off somewhere and live day to day without worrying where anything will come from becuz it aint a damn thing and im so tired of talk, talk saddens me and action wears me out and helps me sleep at nite.
and yet someday after losing my conscience id wake up in the middle of the nite feeling horrible and uneasy without remembering why.
if there's anything i learned from the past 6 months it's that we can't all be weak. no, someone has to be the strong one otherwise you're left sobbing with no help when everyone needs it. oh god why can't i be stronger than this.
