2001-10-07 - 7:07 p.m.

you know what?

fuck it, i'm back.

and why am i back?

because i fuckin love you

(that and it's so much easier to type than write in my crumbling black notebook, because .. well .. my keyboard doesn't crumble.)

and it seems a shame, really. to have the reflex to say "i love you." but it's better than saying shameless "fuck everyone"s like i did every wakeup of last month.

i still dont plan on being here often. i have to carefully measure out my words like i'm baking a fuckin martha stewart cake (and honey that was a joyful "fuckin" cuz i'm crazymadcool throwmyheadback YEAH).

and i'm shaking inside out.

(and the point is, to not take personal shit so seriously or you'll turn neurotic and no one will invite you to parties where you can chill and maybe have a lollipop or two).

you know. at those lollipop parties.

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