2002-02-12 - 9:56 p.m.

i don't know if i quite understand 4 am or not, but i know that i felt something wildish and i took myself a walk outside to mail the rest of my valentine cards.

the most beautiful moments were the first seconds outside, when the silence was huge. then my eyes and ears got accustomed to subtle sounds so that the dark got decidedly noisy and i started feeling the chicagocold and i wanted to shut the night up. i guess it can't stay perfect for more than five seconds. it just wouldn't be right.

i shouldn't favor 4 am more than any other time, for it would make the rest of the day feel too neglected and sad.

well it's not as though i do what i should.

<> - <>